23rd September - A day that I will not forget

23rd Sept 1994 - I lost the one that I love the most; my Grandma. Life without her around me is not good at all. Without her, I am lost. I feel so empty. I cried almost every night. I can give up anything for her to come back; even if I have to give up my life for her. I used to hug her tight and kiss her cheek. Sit on her lap. Hugging her at night to sleep when I got nightmare. I am much more closer to her compare to my own mum. She is like my mom to me. She is my mentor. She is my everything.... Sometimes I wonder, will I ever gonna see her again? Will she still remember and loves me like she used to?

Would you know my name
if I saw you in heaven?
Would it be the same
if I saw you in heaven?
I must be strong and carry on
'Cause I know I don't belong here in heaven...

Would you hold my hand
if I saw you in heaven?
Would you help me stand
if I saw you in heaven?
I'll find my way through night and day
'Cause I know I just can't stay here in heaven...

Time can bring you down, time can bend your knees
Time can break your heart, have you begging please...begging please

Beyond the door there's peace I'm sure
And I know there'll be no more tears in heaven...

Would you know my name
if I saw you in heaven?
Would YOU be the same
if I saw you in heaven?
I must be strong and carry on
'Cause I know I don't belong here in heaven...

23rd Sept 2010 - I remember praying to God on my birthday for me to see my grandma in my dream. I miss her very very much. And I pray so hard for her to appear in my dream telling me how is she doing in whichever place she might be right now. I pray and pray, I wish and wish... But it never come true. She never appear in my dream. Yesterday was Mooncake Festival day, which all family member gather together to have dinner, chit chatting etc. We had our family dinner at night... Me, Mom and Dad, my 2 little Bro.

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.... I see her sitting on a chair wearing a sky blue baju kebaya with white pattern on it. First glance its like tiny tiny white flowers printed 0n the sky blue cloth. She is smiling to me so sweetly, her face is glowing and she looks so peaceful and happy. She looks so pretty. Her hair so neatly tied up. She look just like an angel to me... my 專屬天使. She is my Grandma. My eyes got teary and I tell her that I miss her so much and its been so long I didn't see her. She smile at me and says... look I'm so happy and pretty hor? See I so fair dy.... I was lying on the floor when I see her... I wanted to stand up and hug her... hug her tightly and never let go...

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Wrong move!!! I should have stay at that position and talk to her longer. Ask her what I wanted to know all this while. Ask her how's my grandpa etc etc. But I am so eager to go near her. To feel her around my arm... I force myself to stand up... That's when I open my eyes and I know that I am dreaming. I tried to force myself back to the dream but it didn't happen.

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I wake up around 7.30am with a big smile and teardrop on my face. I can still remember so clearly how my grandma look in my dream; the sky blue baju kebaya and the tiny tiny white flower (that now look more like tiny tiny clouds to me), her smile, her glowing face and her peaceful expression. I guess she wants to tell me that she is now very happy living with GOD up in the heaven and that she still remember and her love for me never change. She is watching me from heaven and waiting for that one day, for that one day... when we will be reunited. IN HEAVEN...

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Thank you GOD. Thank you to my friend that send me an angel yesterday for my wishes to come true. Who know who you are!!!! Cheers...