A Moment Like This... (Zouk)

23-01-09 Farewell in Zouk

Today is the last day he works here. After work we are planning to go to Zouk for his farewell. This is a day which I never want it to come. How can I live without him here? My life would be so bored without him around teasing and kidding with me. I am so gonna miss him. Out of a sudden a song played in my mind… a song that describes my feeling of that moment…

How do I,

Get through the night without you?

If I had to live without you,

What kind of life would that be?

Oh, I

I need you in my arms, need you to hold,

You're my world, my heart, my soul,

If you ever leave,

Baby you would take away everything good in my life,

And tell me now

How do I live without you?

I want to know,

How do I breathe without you?

If you ever go,

How do I ever, ever survive?

How do I, how do I,

oh how do I live?

Without you,

There'd be no sun in my sky,

There would be no love in my life,

There'd be no world left for me.

And I,

Baby I don't know what I would do,

I'd be lost if I lost you,

If you ever leave,

Baby you would take away everything real in my life,

And tell me now,

How do I live without you?

I want to know,

How do I breathe without you?

If you ever go,

How do I ever, ever survive?

How do I, how do I,

oh how do I live?

Please tell me baby,

How do I go on?

If you ever leave,

Baby you would take away everything,

I need you with me,

Baby don't you know that you're everything,

Real in my life?

And tell me now,

How do I live without you,

I want to know,

How do I breathe without you?

If you ever go,

How do I ever, ever survive?

How do I, how do I,

oh how do I live?

How do I live without you?

How do I live without you baby?

Tears roll down but I have to pretend to be strong and happy for him. I force myself to smile and joke around as if his leaving doesn’t affect me at all. But deep down inside me, I wanna tie him down to his chair so that he can’t leave. Hahhaha. What a shitty idea. Celine always say she dunno where is all my shitty idea comes from. I wonder too. Ok enough of nonsense. Continue to my sad stories… I always wonder why the time is passing so slow during working hours and I pray and pray for it to pass faster but today, the time flies like nobody business and I pray and pray for it to pass slower. No matter how slow or how fast the time passes, the moment that I hate the most finally comes. He is packing and I went home to prepare myself for his farewell in ZOUK.

We meet in ZOUK entrance at about 11pm. Went in and order a bottle of Liquor. At first I only drink Coke, but then he teases me and dare me to drink his. I drank. After a few glass, I am a bit tipsy and can’t stand straight. Celine and I dance and dance; laughing non stop at all the nonsense that we talk. Trying to enjoy myself so that I won’t think so much. He holds onto me so that I won’t fall and he is there all the times to take care of me. I felt so secure and loved... my friend took our pictures holding each other. This is good as I can keep it as memories. Good times don’t last forever and it’s time to go home. He don’t let me drive and ask one of my colleague to drive us home. Half way he called and asks us to go mamak. We meet in Dharoos, Uptown. Drink for an hour and we decided to leave. I am sober but still he doesn’t want me to drive. So he suggest that Celine drive his car to fetch our colleague home and he take my car and we meet up at Celine’s place. I told him I can drive them home and he can go home from there. But he insisted that we stick to what he said. So Celine took his car and fetch her home and he took my car to Celine’s house. We reach Celine’s house and waited for her. We are teasing and pinching each other. It’s so much fun when I’m with him. We went down the car to smoke and I lean against him. The feeling is so indescribable. He starts pinching me again and I saw Celine is back with his car and the war stop. We finished our cigarettes and left. I MISS HIM SO MUCH...

"Never look back," we said

How was I to know I'd miss you so?

Loneliness up ahead, emptiness behind

Where do I go?”

I wonder…